Big Girls Don't Cry

Heard this again in ASAP and I appreciated the lyrics when I read it...It's about growing up and standing with two feet on the ground, taking everything slowly, not hastily...

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection, baby
To be with myself and center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

The path that I'm walkin', I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and Uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers
And share our secret worlds

But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself, and center
Clarity, peace, serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

Weekend in Bally

Hubby and my aunt and grandma went to Las Vegas and hubby caught this sight! He wanted to bring me along to this place because he said Las Vegas is one of the most beautiful places found in US! That one he shot was like Eiffel Tower. Happy Weekend!

Starting Wallpaper Category

Since I love snapshots a lot, and I love scenes, I am now starting to have a wallpaper category, noting all the beautiful shots and scenes I will come across here in the net. And sharing with you this passion in photography, although I myself don't have the real talent to catch a beautiful snapshot, just allow me to posterize others. Here are some:

Happiness is...

I was visiting Tess blog and saw a list of her happiness. It is a contest from Ms. Firefly's birthday. But, although I do want to win contests, this time, I just want to fill my own happiness meter and see what I would come up with.

Happiness for me is...

1) Having a real good night sleep.
2) Lying in my good old mattress after a day's work (aahhh, heaven.)
3) Seeing the smiles of my children when they see me return from work.
4) Eating my favorite Sinigang sa miso with fish sauce and calamansi.
5) Holding my hubby's hand while he is driving.
6) Watching my youngest walk like an Egyptian as he tries to balance gravity and still learning.
7) Completing an opportunity with real profits.
8) Finishing a project or a homework.
9) Reading fiction.
10) Walking in the rain (with umbrella of course) and sniffing the smell of earth and raindrops.
11) Happy endings.
12) Dancing.
13) Sipping my favorite tea.
14) Window shopping (better than shopping lol!)
15) Daydreaming and actually making it real!
16) Cooking a perfect meal and my family praising me from it.
17) Being able to visit St. Jude and meditate.

Okay...I will continue this tomorrow as at this time I am really sleepy...zzzz.

Relieving Anxiety

While I was commuting from work, I suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling of not being able to breathe. I was nearing our home and I have the intense feeling of going to an emergency room but i fought it back and tried my best to relax my taut muscles. When I got home, the feeling lessened but it was still there. As of this time, I still feel some tautness but it's as if it's gone. How? How I fought this anxiety attack? By reading.

Yup! I surfed the net and read about anxiety. All the feeling I felt says what it was - an attack to my senses. By reading about it and knowing more, I began to open my mind and started understanding this condition. At the same time, I felt more assured as I read others' statements and relate it with my own. It is reassuring to know that I can still manage this the way I've been managing my attacks, and I know there is still hope.

It all started last October 2008 and it's been 4 months. Counting the attacks, it lessened this year (since I began to motivate myself to do something about it) by reading the book by Dale Carnegie and with the relaxation techniques I've read.

Looking back today why I had the anxiety attack, my guess was because I listened to my co-teachers as they discussed about morbidity. The news about a 10-year old student from Ateneo de Manila who was run down by a van inside the campus. He died, and there was a pic of the poor boy's bread still stuck in the van's window.

Then another teacher talked about family and there's this mother who lost her three children one by one and when she lost her last daughter, she said she couldn't afford to see her last child. Hearing those, and nonchalantly leaving the faculty room, I guess, unconsciously, it remained and triggered my anxiety again (remember that I had my first attack after my youngest got hospitalized). In a way, that was my trigger.

Well, as always, accept and understand and move on. I know I can't always know when these attacks will come back again, but I promised myself I will not allow these attacks to ruin my chances of a good life. Whatever, whenever, life is still good enough to live!

By the way, these are the sites that I came across with when I was trying to relieve my symptoms:

Anxiety at Medline Plus
Anxiety at HelpGuide
Panic Disorder
Anxiety Disorders Association of America

Alternative Medicine

In times of crisis, getting sick is a big no-no. This is a definite fact and something that at times, a teaser. Taunting us to illnesses when we can't afford it. So, at times, we make better ways to relieving aches and pains in our body through alternative medicine.

Alternative medicine are cheap and most often than not, effective. How else did our ancestors survived? Long ago, a lot of medicinal plants were used to prevent or even cure an illness. And, it is a fact. Why not try it this time?

I found a site that's extensive in their attempt to provide information on alternative healing. But, even if it's that, I still cannot find the proper name of a medicinal plant we so often used when there's 'panuhot'. I've searched the net for it but all they came up with was a place in Africa. Okay, I'm looking for the proper name of GABON. So, I'm depending on this site to help me answer my q. Well, if you know it, then comment please. Hubby told me I have it in one of the books here but I couldn't find it. So, I just emailed the author of the site with this dilemma. Hopefully in a couple of days, I would know the answer. Or even find the book. By the way, the link is here: Philippine Alternative Medicine.

How To Ask Your Salary Increase

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $oh

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Parents' Wish

Guys...this is a must see slideshow...if you have not received this thru email, I suggest you sit back and reflect on this one, Parents' Wish.

I, for one, forgot how hard my parents must have raised me to be where I am now, and until now, even if I have seen this slideshow over and over again, I still cannot help but cry...

Enhancing Relationships

TRUST


TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.


A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."


Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".


NO POINTING FINGERS


A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"


The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."


We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.


If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.


CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?


A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, and good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."


There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.


NO OVERPOWERING


Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."


It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.


It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..


RIGHT SPEECH


There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.


A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, “I, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."


Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.


PERSONAL PERCEPTION


Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? “Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.


Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."


The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.


It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.


Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..


BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, and hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.


Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "But when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.


Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.


People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

Dedicated to my dear hubby...I miss him so much...

I've had my share
Of life's ups and down
But fate's been kind
The downs have been few

I guess you could say
That I've been lucky
Oh, I guess you could say
That it's all because of you

If anyone should ever write my life story
For whatever reason there might be
Ooh, you'll be there
Between each line of pain and glory
`Cause you're the best thing
That ever happened to me

Oh...there have been times
When times were hard
But always somehow I made,
I made it through

`Cause for every moment
That I've spent hurrying
There was a moment
That I've spent on just loving you...

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking

It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar Consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation

Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head covered while sleeping

Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts

Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely

Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.

2. Not urinating in the morning.

3. Too much eating.

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication.

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is very fit.

8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.

9. Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.

====

We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to "schedule."

Because:

Evening at 9 - 11pm: is the time for eliminating unnecessary/toxic chemicals (detoxification) from the antibody system (lymph nodes). This time duration should be spent by relaxing or listening to music. If during this time a housewife is still in an unrelaxed state such as washing the dishes or monitoring children doing their homework, this will have a negative impact on health.

Evening at 11pm - 1am: is the detoxification process in the liver, and ideally should be done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 1 - 3am: detoxification process in the gall, also ideally done in a deep sleep state.

Early morning 3 - 5am: detoxification in the lungs. Therefore there will sometimes be a severe cough for cough sufferers during this time. Since the detoxification process had reached the respiratory tract, there is no need to take cough medicine so as not to interfere with toxin removal process.

Morning 5 - 7am: detoxification in the colon, you should empty your bowel.

Morning 7 - 9am: absorption of nutrients in the small intestine, you should be having breakfast at this time. Breakfast should be earlier, before 6:30am, for those who are sick. Breakfast before 7:30am is very beneficial to those wanting to stay fit. Those who always skip breakfast, they should change their habits, and it is still better to eat breakfast late until 9 - 10am rather than no meal at all.
Sleeping so late and waking up too late will disrupt the process of removing unnecessary chemicals. Aside from that, midnight to 4:00 am is the time when the bone marrow produces blood. Therefore, have a good sleep and don't sleep late.

TAKE CARE ABOUT YOUR HEALTH . . . . . . . .

THE BASICS OF CASH FLOW (Unknown)

***Emailed by a friend...reality bites, but then true to its cause. Read on!


There are those who e-mailed me asking about the basics of cash flow. I'm really sorry that I assumed everybody already understand it. Anyway, by demand … here it goes…

May isang bata… joke lang..

The basic is. What pattern do you see if you will get a P100.00 bill and monitor where and how it is transferred from 1 possessor to the other? How does it flow? The pattern for a typical Pinoy is.

You earn from your work, you spend it on food, gadgets, clothing and other basic needs. Before you reach the next payday, paubos na yung pera mo. But that's ok, payday is just a few days ahead and it doesn't matter if I run out of money, I am expecting money again any time soon.

This cycle goes on and on and you make some sidelines or create other ways to earn but it seems that money was never enough. (I am tempted to explain further pero usapan… basics lang).

So you can't leave the job that you have because a week without work would affect the cash flow you have to support your family and needs. As much as you wanted to accept another job, the gap would make you pay less for a couple of days, which makes you a slave to your boss.

At least, you have a job to support your needs.

So to illustrate…Cash is flowing inside your pocket.

Years have gone by doing your monotonous routine.

Question… what if you get fired? Or you were forced to retire because there are new and younger people ready to take your place. What would you do?

As an OFW, Makati Executive, Top Salesman, Engineer, Attorney, Teacher, etc… What if it all ends? The sweet cash that enters your pocket every 15 th and 30th suddenly comes to a halt.

There are two things you can buy with your money… An asset and a liability. To describe each... An asset brings money inside your pocket; a liability takes money out of your pocket. Another way to see, it is that an asset if you buy one, will bring the money you spent for it back to you 2 or 3 folds. A liability, when you buy it will not give your money back at all.

Sa ilocano… idjay ti kwa… djak maawatan… (joke lang po, seryoso na kayo eh…)

Sa madaling salita… kapag asset, maibabalik ang pera , pag liability, goodbye sa pera…

Ang problema kay JUAN DE LA CRUZ, habang may trabaho ipon ng ipon at bili ng bili ng liability!

I have seen OFWs get back to the country with gold chains at kung pwede lang limang shades ang isuot ng sabay-sabay gagawin nya eh… dvd, component, jackets, clothes, inuman, pulutan, party, pabango… hindi na makalakad sa dami ng bitbit…

At s'yempre mga empleyado natin dito sa bansa na lingo-lingo bago cell phone at mags ng kotse.. hindi na nga magkasya ang damit sa aparador, tapos pag umaga sasabihin…. wala na akong maisuot.

Guys, esep-esep… what you bought… will it bring money back to you? I know what you have in mind… you have to enjoy what you worked hard for. That's right, but think of something that will last… think of your future.

I have seen the worst of people who were abogado de kampanilya, executive secretaries of top rank business men, people who worked for big companies, earned a fortune and got a big retirement pay by the millions… Now…. Wala na.

Why? Because of their cash flow… went in… went out.

I need not to mention basketball players, actors, singers, etc… Check what is their career path… next after acting, singing and playing… POLITICS. Kasi, 'yung million na kinita nila, puro liability ang binili.

Going back… all the liability they bought, ibinenta ng mura! I'm wearing a gold chain now, which I got from a seaman… he bought it for P35,000 and sold it for 8,000 to me. Hindi po asset ang alahas! Bakit? Totoo na tumataas ang value n'ya pero kapag gutom ka na, kahit palugi ibebenta mo! (wala bang aaray?) Cell phones… dvd players etc. pati bahay at kotse… that's the cash flow of most OFWs…

The question is … "WHAT IF THE INCOME STOPS?"

Sa Pinoy, ganito: anak… mag-aral kang maigi, at pag tanda namin… ikaw na bahala sa amin ha…. Hindi po ba maling-mali…

You have to establish something today that will take care of your future.

Teka, teka… eh ano ang dapat gawin para hindi mangyari yan?

You must create a source of income that will continually make money flow inside your pocket. Start a business! While you are working as an executive or an OFW, or a professional… START A BUSINESS and MASTER that business till you get out of that company. Para kapag tumigil ang income mo sa kanila… may susuporta pa din sa iyo hanggang pag-tanda mo!

Now don't tell me to invest my money on pensions and plans… NO WAY! Narinig n'yo na siguro yung …. Naku ayaw ko na magbanggit…. 'yung mga nagbayad at hindi nakapag-claim… sila pa ang dinimanda at nag-piyansa! !! HUWAG MO I-ASA ANG PAGTANDA MO SA IBA! GUMAWA KA NG SARILI MONG BALON NG PERA! KAHIT MALIIT PA 'YAN, SARILI MO AT HINDI KA AASA SA IBANG TAO…

Imagine yourself when you reach an older age… (aruy ko,,, baka yung iba sa inyo about that age… tabi tabi po…Ako po sa mga nagtatanong… I'm 37 years old. Naabutan ko pa si Michael Jackson at hinele po ako ng nanay ko sa mga kanta ng hagibis…). You have money that the company gave you as your retirement pay… what will you do?

You can consume the money till your old… eh kung hindi umabot? Masamang damo ka pala… at hindi ka kaagad kinuha ni Lord. Eh pang age 65 lang yung naipon mo na budget.

Or maybe, you can start a business and use the money for capital… Kapatid… 9 out of 10 businesses, FAILED… yung isang magsa-succeed, gagayahin pa ng kapitbahay mo instead na mag-franchise sa 'yo… think! At age 50, you are struggling trying to make a business work! What if it fails?!

Eh ano nga ba ang sagot?

The answer is, stop buying liabilities and instead buy assets now. I don't care if it is a banana-Q store, balot, ice candy or a sari-sari store, etc… start now! Because, your experience here will teach you what to do in the future. It's so hard to struggle in business when you are 60 yrs old.

You have to create a source of income separated from the source of income from your work. That when the time comes that you have to stop working, you will have your own source of money! Create assets, start a business that will be there to support you and your family. I AM NOT TELLING YOU TO QUIT YOUR JOB! I'm telling you to start a business while you're working and stop spending your money on liabilities and start putting them on assets!

Ang pera kapag pinambili mo ng LIABILITY… hindi na babalik… ang ASSET… BABALIK.

Teka… masama ba bumili ng mga magagandang gamit? Hindi! Siguraduhin mo lang na ang pambili mo nun ay galing sa asset mo. The business has to be prioritized! Mawalan ka man ng trabaho, may negosyo kang palalaguin.

If before, nabubuhay ka naman ng iisa sapatos mo, huwag mo baguhin 'yun… dati, nagdyi-jeep ka lang… 'wag ka na munang mag-FX…

Create assets and lessen liabilities. Invest and learn now… mag-negosyo!

Eh anong negosyo? Any, as long as you think it is work and doable! I am still looking for partners for my HOME MASSAGE SERVICE! SPA MAGIC! And my business CAR MAGIC is still franchising… (joke lang … baka sabihin nyo nag pro-promote lang ako eh…But I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL MY BUSINESSES ARE ORIGINAL AND ALL ARE GRAND ASSETS!

I started all my businesses with a very small capital. If I used that money to buy a gadget, new shoes or any liability… baka wala lahat ng negosyo ko at wala na akong makain ngayon.

Again, I hope that this BASIC CASH FLOW article helps…. I wish all of us become financially-problem free (hahaha...got that from Toni - just wanna correct this point)!

Whatever Happens, Happens for a Reason

* The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

* Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

* To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

* Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

* Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

* Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

* Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them.

Cake or Bed

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE.

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,

WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS.

THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS....

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME.

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS,
HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS,
AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED,

HELLOOOOO..

DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO!

Naalaala Ko Pa

Si Nanay ay nasa bahay pag-uwi namin galing sa paaralan;

Walang mga bakod at gate ang magkakapit-bahay, kung meron, gumamela lang;

10 sentimos o diyes lang ang baon: singko sa umaga, singko sa hapon;

Merong free ang mga patpat ng ice drop: buko man o munggo.

Mataas ang paggalang sa mga guro at ang tawag sa kanila ay Maestro/a.

Di binibili ang tubig, pwedeng maki-inom sa di mo kakilala.

Malaking bagay na ang pumunta sa ilog para mag-picnic, o kaya sa tumana;

Grabe na ang kaso pag napatawag ka sa principal's office o kaya malaking kahihiyan kapag bagsak ka sa exams;

Simple lang ang pangarap: makatapos, makapag-asawa, mapagtapos ang mga anak...

Pwedeng iwan ang sasakyan at ibilin sa hindi mo kakilala; wala namang lock ang mga jeep na Willy's noon.

Mayroon kaming mga laruan na gawa namin at hindi binili: trak-trakan (gawa sa rosebowl ang katawan at darigold na maliit ang mga gulong, "sketeng" (scooter) na bearing na maingay ang mga gulong at de-sinkong pako para sa preno; patining na pinitpit na tansan lang na may 2 butas sa gitna para suotan ng sinulid (pwede pang makipag-lagutan) ; sumpak, pilatok, boca-boca, borador, atbp.

Di nakikialam ang mga matanda sa mga laro ng mga bata: kasi laro nga iyon. Maraming usong laro at maraming kasali: laste, gagamba, turumpo, tatsing ng lata, pera namin ay kaha ng Philip Morris, Malboro, Champion (kahon-kahon yon!)

May dagta ang dulo ng tinting na hawak mo para makahuli tutubi, nandadakma ka ng palakang tetot, pero ingat ka sa palakang saging dahil sa kulugo;

Butas na ang sakong ng Spartan mong tsinelas - suot mo pa rin;

Namumugalgal ang pundiya ng kansolsilyo mo kasi nakasalampak ka sa lupa.

Sa modernong buhay at sa lahat ng kasaganaan sa high technology…diba minsan nangarap ka na rin... mas masaya noong araw!

Sana pwedeng maibalik...

Takot tayo ngayon sa buhay. Kasi maraming napapatay, nakikidnap, maraming addict at masasamang loob...

Noon takot lang tayo sa ating mga magulang at mga lolo at lola. Pero ngayon, alam na natin na mahal pala nila tayo kayat ayaw tayong mapahamak o mapariwara.. . Na una silang nasasaktan pag pinapalo nila tayo...

Balik tayo sa nakaraan kahit saglit...

Bago magkaroon ng internet, computer, at cellphone.

Noong wala pang mga drugs at malls.

Bago pa nauso ang counter strike at mga game boys.

Tayo noon... Doon ....

Tinutukoy ko ang harang taga o tumbang preso kapag maliwanag ang buwan; Ang pagtatakip mo ng mata pero nakasilip sa pagitan ng mga daliri pag nanonood ka ng nakakatakot sa "Mga Aninong Gumagalaw".

Unahan tayong sumagot sa Multiplication Table na kabisado natin, kasi wala namang calculator.

Pag-akyat natin sa mga puno; pagkakabit ng kulambo, lundagan sa kama; Pagtikwas o pagtitimba sa poso; pingga ang pang-igib ng lalake at may
dikin naman ang ulo ng babae; Inaasbaran ng mga suberbiyo; Nginig na tayo pag lumabas na ang yantok-mindoro o buntot-page.

Nai-sako ka rin ba? O kaya naglagay ka ba ng karton sa pwet para hindi masakit ang tsinelas o sinturon?

Pamimili ng bato sa bigas; tinda-tindahan na puro dahon naman; bahay-bahayan na puro kahon; naglako ka ba ng ice-candy o pandesal noong
araw?

Karera sa takbuhan hanggang maubos ang hininga; pagtawa hanggang sumakit
ang tiyan; Meron pa bang himbabao, kulitis at pongapong? O kaya ang lukaok, susuwi at espada?

Susmaryosep ang nadidinig mo pag nagpapaligo ng bata...

Estigo santo kapag nagmamano.

Mapagod sa kakalaro, minsan mapalo; matakot sa "berdugo" at sa "kapre";

Tuwang-tuwa kami pag tinalo ang tinale ni itay kasi may tinola!

Yung crush mo? Pag recess: mamimili ka sa garapon ng tinapay -alembong, taeng-kabayo o biscocho?

Pwede ring ang sukli ay kending Vicks (meron pang libreng singsing) o kaya nougat o karamel; Kung gusto mo naman - pakumbo o kaya kariba, mas masaya kung inuyat; Puriko ang mantika, at mauling na ang mukha at ubos na ang hininga mo sa ihip kasi mahirap magpa-rikit ng apoy.

Madami pa...

Masarap ang kamatis na piniga sa kamay at lumabas sa pagitan ng daliri para sa sawsawan; ang palutong pag isawsaw sa sukang may siling labuyo; ang duhat kapag inalog sa asin; ang isa-sang isubo ang daliri kasi puno na ng kanin...

Halo-halo: yelo, asukal at gatas lang ang sahog;

Sakang ang lakad mo at nakasaya ka kasi bagong tuli ka; o naghahanap ka ng chalk kasi tinagusan ang palda mo sa eskwelahan.

Lipstick mo ay papel de hapon; Labaha ang gamit para sa white-side-wall na gupit; Naglululon ka ng banig pagkagising; matigas na amirol ang mga punda at
kumot; madumi ang manggas ng damit mo kasi doon ka nagpapahid ng sipon, di
ba? Pwede rin sa laylayan...

May mga program kapag Lunes sa paaralan; May pakiling kang dala kung Biyernes kasi magi-isis ka ng desk.

Di ba masaya? Naalala mo pa ba?

Wala nang sasaya at gaganda pa sa panahon na yon...

Masaya noon at masaya pa rin tayo ngayon habang ina-alaala iyon...

Di ba noon...

Ang mga desisyon ay ginagawa sa awit na "sino ba sa dalawang ito? Ito ba o ito?" Pag ayaw ang resulta di ulitin: "sino ba sa dalawang ito?
Ito ba o ito?"...

Awit muna: Penpen de Serapen, de kutsilyo, de almasen. How how thecarabao batuten...

Presidente ng klase ay ang pinakamagaling, hindi ang pinaka-mayaman;

Masaya na tayo basta sama-sama kahit hati-hati sa kokonti; Nauubos ang oras natin sa pagku-kwentuhan, may oras tayo sa isat-isa; Naaasar ka kapag marami kang sunog sa sungka; kapag buro ka sa pitik-bulag o matagal ka ng taya sa holen.

Yung matatandang kapatid ang pinaka-ayaw natin pero sila ang tinatawag natin pag napapa-trouble tayo. Di natutulog si Inay, nagbabantay pag may trangkaso tayo; meron tayong skyflakes at Royal sa tabi at pahihigupin ng mainit na Royco.

Kung naaalaala mo ito...nabuhay ka na sa KAPAYAPAAN!

Pustahan tayo nakangiti ka pa rin!

Kung naka-relate ka sa lahat ng nabanggit sa itaas, ibig sabihin lang niyan ay MATANDA ka na! he he he...pero kung hindi ka maka-relate, padala mo na lang sa akala mo ay kapanahunan nya ito para maalala din niya at mangiti rin siya.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife
about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
> The wife replied, "The reason has to be because
we have to repeat everything to men...
> The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
> " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about
who should brew the coffee each morning.
> The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
> The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here
and you should do it, because that is your job,
and I can just wait for my coffee."
> Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides,
it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
> Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
> So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
> other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
> he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
> "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it.
> The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
> and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
> see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
> the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Crazy Facts

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death! (Creepy)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour.

(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times

its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

S ome lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that too .)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)